I dropped Sprint as my cell service company in order to go to an option I perceived as being generally cheaper and more reliable. As a bonus it turns out that they actually have customer service, unlike Sprint.

As soon as I dropped Sprint, they started sending me marketing messages about how much they would do for me to retain me as a customer. Have you ever had a bad relationship end, where your ex is certain that they can win you back with superficial gestures that indicate that they will certainly go back to abusing you as soon as they are sure you are theirs again?

Just like that.

“Please don’t go!”

“You have 14 days to change your mind! Have you seen our new network?”

“We will give you $300 to come back to us!”

Uh-huh.

Today they ask me to fill out a survey with the subject line “Tell us what we could have done better”. Here are the questions they asked me:

1. What is your age?
2. Do you have cell phone service?
3. Who provides your cell service?

The first question is unskippable and provides no option for “I don’t want to tell you.” So I lied.

Where were the questions designed to find out what they could have done differently? Not in this survey.

Sprint: We Can’t Hear You, We Have Bananas In Our Ears.

The Sprint logo does look like a fanned-out bunch of bananas, doesn’t it?